tori: i’m on season 4, episode 6 of leverage and have many feels.
ME: You obviously haven’t been watching long enough if you think being in heaven/hell means they’re really dead.
TORI: Not real soap fans if they don’t know this tbh.
ME: Truth dot com.
ME: I’m watching you-know-what and I just caught myself going, “Oh, Dawson…” OKAY SASHA, YOUR JOB HERE IS DONE; YOU’VE OFFICIALLY RUINED MY LIFE.
TORI: Real fucking talk!
ME: I’m quietly sobbing into my hands rn.
I’m going through the text document I have saved of texts that Tori and I send to each other that I want to remember (aptly named Bitches Be Crazy) and this just cracked me up again.
ABBY: Tonight’s musical selection is Death Row Records Greatest Hits: Volume 1. My life is obviously that of a thug.
TORI: All you need now to do is fuck some bitches and get some money.
ABBY: AKA my daily goals in life.
This is an example of the kind of things that Abby and I text each other all the time.
(Yes, the references come from that Kreayshawn song. Don’t judge. We KNOW it’s turrible.)
OMG, TORI! I’m legit going through our Bitches Be Crazy document I have saved on my computer of our texts right now and I’m dyyyyyying!
Abby: I was going to text you something but I forgot what it was…
Tori: …So you texted me telling me you were gonna text me instead?
Abby: Yep.
Tori: You know I love you right?
———
Tori: Well I did andv
Tori: ’ ?
Abby: …have you been drinking?
ME: OMG, TÉA IN A BRA!
TORI: Your favorite kind of Téa?
ME: Totes my favorite.
TORI: Abby, you are gayer than an episode of Rizzoli & Isles.
ME: Since when are Shawn and Rama friends?
TORI: Because all the minorities hang out in Llanview.
TORI: That awkward moment when your phone rings in class and your ringtone is “Rich Bitch” by Die Antwoord…
I went to the dentist for a cleaning, plus I’ve been having some tooth pain. A normal cleaning should take like 30 to 45 minutes. I just spent almost TWO HOURS at the dentist.
My text to Tori afterwards: “Ugggghhhhhh, so it might be something but it could be nothing so we have to wait and see if it gets worse/better. Fuck that! I mean, the pain isn’t horrific but just fucking take the tooth out or something. Of course I’m a hypocondri… however that’s spelled, and now ALL my teeth hurt. In conclusion, fuck the polic—-I mean dentist.”
Tori: I was listening to Regulate and thought of you.
Me: That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.
