so sorry for my delayed response to this email, i have been very swamped being a confused and frightened idiot who can’t do basic life tasks like respond to her emails
*tries to chill*
*accidentally does the most*
it doesn’t matter how many “pretend to be dating” fics i read, i’m always fucking in it headfirst every time and i fall for that shit every time. i know the pattern i know the plot twists i know what’s gonna happen but every single fucking time i’m fucking on the edge of my seat wide-eyed whispering like “what’s gonna happen are they gonna fall in love” to myself like of course they are you fucking idiot this happens EVERY TIME but as soon as i see the description and it’s like “x person and x person pretend to do the dating” it’s eternal sunshine of the stupidest fucking mind over here
lol: lots of lesbians
rotfl: really open to friendly lesbians
lmao: lesbians make awesome omelettes
omg: oh my girls
ily: i love yuri
wtf: where’s the females
fyi: females… yes… interesting…
if you have a pet and i’ve ever visited your house: i’m sorry
at this point i dont even feel like a real person i’m just 50% sarcasm and 50% tv shows
do you ever just start watching a show because you hear there are lesbians
literally the only reason i do anything
do u ever look at girls and just sigh because you’re really gay like really fucking gay
"well, i read a lot"
"cool! what kind of stuff do you like to read?"
"oh, you know, mostly amateur erotica based on existing media franchises"